time, she flies

I know, it's been a while. Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

I need to catch up on a bunch of emails, I see. I promise I'll get to them over the next few weeks, unless something in my real life interrupts.

Here's a little fun fact for you to chew on. John M is not only still alive, he's a happily married grandfather. Not surprisingly, he looks like "Jesse" but older.

He dodged a bullet getting Janna out of his life before she could wreck it completely.

And, ladies, so did we.

to erase any doubt

Way back in May 2006, when "Jesse" was emerging from his own personal soap-opera-like hell, Janna and her best friend Annie Martel, who had once been "Jesse's" therapist, took him on a Memorial Day vacation to Beaver Island in Lake Michigan. After "Jesse" died, Annie posted this on his tribute blog.

Worth the Wait

My name is Annie and Jesse and I spent some time together figuring things out. I'll have some more things to offer about him once I determine what the boundaries are. I didn't know him like the rest of you did. I knew him in solely a clinical sense until Memorial Day of this year, mere weeks ago. At that time he was tired of talking about himself and his "little miseries," "all the time." So I dropped my guard and headed out into a social situation with Jesse and some friends.

The benefit for me was complete. I saw him as whole person for the first time, not just the sum total of his traumas. Of course I knew he was special, but there were moments that imbedded in me just how exceptional he was outside my office or a hospital room. I watched him entertain dozens of children in a skateboard park while fireworks fell behind them. I ate his delicious cooking. I watched him swim in big water with three horses he'd just met. I've been around horses for 35 years but would have never attempted that. He was a horse whisperer. A dog whisperer. A llama whisperer. A fire whisperer. A child whisperer. A people in general whisperer. 

One of the things that struck me the most was the fact I never really saw Jesse smile until that time we spent away from the office. I'd seen his famous wry smile. His famous devilish smile. I'd seen his sad little resolved smile. But never a full, easy, natural grin. Until that time we spent together in "the free world." Then there it was. All over the place. A 1000 watt smile. I chose to capture it with my camera phone. I don't really know how to use my camera phone. It took three people to get the picture from there to here, but here it is. Jesse's full, easy, natural smile. We don't know for sure, but we think it might just be the last image ever taken of him. It's just a bad, dark, grainy dinotechno picture phone photo, butI hope so, because in that instant he was comfortable being Jesse.

Isn't that fucking touching? Brings a tear to your eye.

Here's the other part of that story. One photo amongst several that have been sent to me since Janet Hopper's youthful indiscretions were brought to light.

Holy fuckballs. First of all, did EVERYBODY wear jeans in the 70s? Second, yes. That would be a photo of a twentysomething Janna with her husband John M. Ain't they cute?

And it's her psychotic attention to detail, the little embellishments like "We don't know for sure, but we think it might just be the last image ever taken of him." I mean, way to pile it on.

Janna's sleazy deception just gets grosser and grosser with each revelation. "[A] bad, dark, grainy dinotechno picture phone photo" equals "low-rez scan of a decades-old Polaroid which is grainy because I cut myself out of a photo with my husband and blew it up to torment an innocent woman for my own personal gain."

Whoops forgot the "while impersonating John Denver's ex-wife on a tribute blog to someone who didn't exist."

Happy New Year!

Ms. O

Wasn't sure if you wanted me to publish your comment, but HELLS YEAH, I would. Please email me anything you have via the contact link, if you want an address to snail mail something, I can give you that as well. And thanks!

wherein the "moar llamas" people get their wish

Yes, this is about llamas. And other stuff.

Oddly, there are people out there seriously weighing in about the llama thing - like how could I believe that "Jesse" was a llama rancher? Don't I know how time-consuming llama ranching is? And he was an EMT? And a volunteer fireman? And a journalist?

First - I'm a city mouse, born and raised in cities all my life. What the fuck do I know from llamas? No idea what it takes to take care of a llama. "Jesse" had I think four llamas (hey a four-L llama! [sorry, old fire engine limerick memory jog]), the photo is archived and I can't be arsed to dig it out. The llamas were used more as pets/sometime work animals than for whatever it is llamas are used for when they're ranched.

Second - "Jesse" was mostly an EMT when we first met, and he wasn't in a big city, but a long way outside one (part of the reason he said he had a PO Box in Denver, since he only had some sort of rural route address - again, I know nothing of living in the sticks [ha! Styx!]). Point being, there weren't too many accidents, so "Jesse" wasn't that busy as an EMT. He then accepted a proper job with the US gov. fire service, but quit because it WAS too much for him. He was more an ex-journalist than a current journalist, although he'd do stringer or research work now and then for someone else's byline.

Third - most of the time I knew him, "Jesse" didn't work much because he was either recovering from his suicide attempt (which occurred prior to his bipolar diagnosis), or spending time in a psychiatric facility voluntarily so his sister (who was his guardian) couldn't commit him. Of course, during the brief interlude when we didn't speak, from October - December 2005, it turned out that "Jesse" visited Los Angeles to work on a story, but he didn't get in touch because he thought he'd be bothering me.

Jesus, it sounds nuts just typing it. But, like I said, I don't know from any of these professions except journalism, and "Jesse" was convincing enough about that, so why wouldn't I take him at his word about the others, especially since other friends of his (including Janna) corroborated the story?

I should do a timeline, but hell, I'm too tired for that crap now. Hope that was llama-y enough for you odd people!

a little bit about Janna

Because this does bug me  a bit, I'd like to clear something up that one of the LJ people has assumed. Some folks didn't like that I mentioned Janna's weight here. But what you all need to understand about Janna is that nobody hated on fat people more than Janna St James. As her alter egos, "Bean" and "Alice" amongst them, she would say hateful, scathing things about herself, all to do with her weight.

As some of her other alter egos, she'd talk about how beautiful and skinny and wonderful she was till those nasty Mexicans raped and nearly killed her in a cornfield. Janna would say to me as herself that she weighed 112 all her life until that rape, and she gained all that weight because she was in a hospital bed recovering from many plastic surgeries and operations and now she only had a single lung so it was hard for her to exercise blah blah blah.

Janna told me that she tried Weight Watchers, but they didn't like her because she wasn't born a fatty, that she had no respect for them because they were fat by choice and not by misadventure like she was. Not once did I care about Janna's weight, although I was sympathetic that she was upset about it. When I met her, I confess I was a little taken aback at her size, but only because I was trying to work out in my head how someone could go from 112 to 250 over a ten year period, especially when several of those years was spent eating hospital food, and some of that time her jaw had been reconstructed and she could only have liquid nutrition.

Of course, when I found out that all of her backstory was a lie, there was never a rape, never any sort of hospital convalescence, and she was obese for her entire adult life, I realized that she was completely obsessed with her own weight. Yes, my comment was mean, it was meant to be, but please understand it was meant to tweak her because of this history.

I can't speak for Josh's motivations in taking that angle, since he has never discussed his article with me at any length whatsoever. But for the record, yes, he is kind of an asshole, and everything is about him.

uh, hi there, Reddit people

You guys are cracking me up.

A few things:

1. keep in mind that six* years ago Skype was being used for work conference calls and that was about it. No computers with built in cameras. I had an iSight for my Mac, but "Jesse" had a work laptop with no camera. MySpace was on my radar during the tail end of this stupid saga, but not Facebook. The internetz was not as sophisticated as it is now, you doggone kids. I'll bet most of you were still in high school when "Jesse" first contacted me six* years ago.

2. "butthurt weenus" is the funniest phrase I've heard this year. So thanks for that.

3. Janna managed to do this to people she knew BEFORE the internet. Face to face. "Hey, I have a friend you'd really like - you should be penpals!" Bitch is ballsy. She's been deceiving people, in person and then online, for thirty years. THIRTY YEARS. At least eight people that I've spoken with personally, not counting anyone involved in the "Jesse" deception.

4. Janna's description of herself on her blog was only added after my friends exposed her. Doy. Give me a little credit.

5. I'd be happy to do an AMA, but I think this blog probably answers all your questions.

EDITED TO ADD:

6. Yeah, the money thing. I was surprised it added up to $10k, but when you're buying little gifts for someone, and also Christmas gifts for their friends and family, over the course of a year and a half, that shit adds up. That amount, though, also includes a plane ticket I never got to use because "Jesse" was indisposed when I was going to use it, as well as hefty cancellation fees for a hotel I booked that I was going to be meeting "Jesse" at.  But seriously, you people who are getting lulz out of this. Read this shit before you judge, okay? All I ask.

* edited because I realize it was six (holy fuckballs!) years ago. Not five. Sigh.

answers to questions

dcmus1c - I created a new account, and couldn't think of a good alias, so frivolously, that was what I chose. It was a silly move on my part, and in fact would even make me queasy when I looked at it, so I've changed it. Sorry to freak you out. Also, some food for thought - just because it's different doesn't mean that it still wasn't Janna, you know?

krs - no.

Patricia - YES!!!!!!