confusion, misinterpretation, and other whatthefucks

1. The copies of all the various blogs I'm linking to were the actual blogs of other people, or, in this case, other person, being that Janna wrote most of them: "Jesse's" blog, "Alice's" blog, most of the "Jesse" tribute blog, "Cakey's" blog, the "AuTeam" blog. And of course her own. It's real easy to save a blog page and then re-post it with any changes you wish to make, or at least it is when you have friends that are geeks to show you how easy it is. I just saved them to have them, at first for sentimental reasons, in the case of "Jesse's" blog, because he kept deleting them, and after the intervention as a way of keeping track of the lies Janna was spewing. I still have the original unadulterated copies, which are timestamped as proof that they have gone undoctored, should I change my mind again about pressing charges. Which I might, depending on how much Janna and her Jannafestations (known in internetland as "sock puppets" - see, I have learned something new this month!) want to continue the denials.

2. And because I know Janna Saint James is likely to start again with her bullshit protestations of innocence and claims that everyone involved with "Jesse" is in fear for their lives and livelihood because I'm allegedly such a psycho, what the hell. I renew the offer for Janna to offer her "proof" to an impartial third party. I'll hire an attorney to depose Janna and two other people who have proof of "Jesse's" existence. The "executor" of "Jesse's" estate would be preferred, and one of "Jesse's" relatives. Birth and death certificates must be furnished, as well as government-issue photo ID, including but not limited to drivers license, passport, the ID he was given by the National Forest Service, Associated Press, and any other professional organizations "Jesse" might have been involved with. Janna or "Jesse's" family must also provide copies of "Jesse's" cellphone bills, "Alice's" cellphone bills, the rental agreement for the PO Box in Denver, and "Jesse's" emancipation papers, in the possession of the "executors." Copies of newspaper articles written by "Jesse" prior to 9/11 should be furnished as well.

If necessary, the attorney will despatch a representative to Colorado to speak with people who knew "Jesse," including but not limited to the firemen he served with, the people at the Associated Press office in Denver or wherever it is Janna is claiming that she worked as an editor with "Jesse" as her crack writer. Said representative would also visit "Jesse's" ranch and meet with "Cakey," who apparently is very hurt that I think he doesn't exist.

And what the hell, the attorney should also depose Janna's mother, husband and daughter, again sending representatives to whatever locale her daughter has run off to to escape her insane mother. Janna should also furnish the court documents in her case against the Mexican chappies who raped her, beat her, and left her for dead in a cornfield. She told me two of them were convicted and the other one ran for the border. And the European hospital records for her reconstructive surgery after the brutal rape, as long as we're at it. Oh, and that Ted Bundy article she wrote also. And the medical records from her frequent visits to the Mayo Clinic.

I will pay all expenses. Aforementioned attorney will take an oath not to disclose the "real" name of "Jesse" or his "family," but will issue a notarized statement confirming that all documents requested were seen, and that the proof is incontrovertible. And then I will apologize, pull this blog from existence, and I will ask Josh and the LA Weekly to please issue a retraction.

Till then, all of Janna's claims are heaps of bullshit.

3. And for good measure, for those of you who don't want to go so far back, here's the blog of the woman "Julia," who was stalking "Jesse" in Colorado.

4. Thanks but no thanks, Billy the Kid. I'm actually seeing someone at the moment, who really truly exists (I swear!). But for making me laugh, I'll send you an iPod anyway.

much LOLZ were had by all

1. No, Josh does not want to fuck me. He's a famousass screenwriter, who has his pick of many lithe leggy gals, but focuses on one, who ain't me.

2. Enough with the fucking panties already. And people think I'm weird. The amount of talk and obsession that's going on around the internets about the panty-sniffing is ludicrous, and the ones that are pretending to be inteleckshul while pontificating are the funniest, and most telling. Oooooer, missus, we do love a bit of panty-sniffing, don't we? For the record: the articles of clothing we swapped were favorite shirts - I sent "Jesse" an old sweatshirt of mine so beat up the sleeves were shredded, and he sent me an old Tommy Hilfiger green cotton knit pullover and a really ugly Banana Republic shirt. It was more for sentimentality and comfort than for sniffing, although fuck knows what Janna did with mine. I didn't sniff "Jesse's" shirts, although I did wear the green one to bed and cried all over it the night he shot himself, and the night he died. I also did send "Jesse" washed but new American Apparel boyshorts, as a joke, so he could open the package in front of his ex-wife "Krista," who was trying to get back together with him, we thought it'd drive her off for sure. Ohyeah, and I also sent "Jesse" a pair of brand new copper lame' boyshorts, which he allegedly wore under his alleged jeans when he did a gig with his friend "Cakey's" alleged band. I do not now, nor have I ever, possessed a pair of BVDs or other male undergarments that purportedly belonged to "Jesse Jubilee James," for the purpose of sniffing or other prurient acts. I can't speak for Janna. Alles klar?

Sheesh.

here it is

Well, folks, it's been a long hard slog, huh? Click here to read the article.

I will add my own corrections here, since Josh is a little wrong about some stuff, but that's what happens with journalists, eh?

1. Janna St. James lives in Batavia, which is a suburb of Chicago, I believe. It's also good to know that her married name is Priggie, just in case she starts putting herself forward as Janna Priggie, "friend" of some other celebrity or eligible beefcake out there in interwebsland.

2. Jesse and I did not exchange clothes so we'd know what each other smelled like. Eeeew. I'm strange enough without having to add to it, friends, thankyouverymuch.

3. I'd broken off with the younger man before I was even talking to Jesse again. One had nothing to do with the other.

4. I didn't ask Harlan if I could bring Janna to his house, just the new puppy. Harlan's a lovely man, fabulous writer, and I do believe this could be the first time ever in history that he's wrong about something, but wrong he is.

There're other little tiny hiccups in the article, mostly to do with timeline, and some more things to do with me, but fuckit, it's my life and I have to live with the shit I've done; I've learned to roll with the punches. The important thing is that the facts about Janna Saint James are correct. Copies of the article are on their way to all Chicago-area publications, just in case they would otherwise miss it. Did I mention it's this week's cover story?