Thursday, March 15, 2007

this is stupid

You know, I've been going about this all the wrong way. I write stuff and I get Janna or her Jannafestations asserting this or that with no real backup. I then try to respond to all the bitchery and psychological tomfoolery with logic while getting none in return. Just meanness and more bitchery and psychological tomfoolery. Fuckit.

Have I mentioned that I had no suspicions myself up till the day my friends got me out of the house, showed me their findings and confronted Janna? Have I mentioned that I was shocked to see all their evidence? Have I mentioned that I was shocked that Janna said absolutely nothing to change my friends' minds? They said "we know Jesse is fake and we'd like you to leave," and she said, calmly, "okay." They implored her to provide some sort of evidence that could prove them wrong. My friends love me (I'm seeing how much these days and I love them back), and they wanted to be wrong about all of this almost as much as I wanted them to be wrong, maybe more. But nothing from Janna. She couldn't provide the name of the hospital where "Jesse" stayed, but she could have done any number of things that day to show them they were wrong: she could have made any number of calls from her own cellphone, to "Annie," or "Cakey," or "Jesse's" lawyers, even "Alice" if it were just to disprove their theories. She did nothing, except to get pissed off when a friend pleaded with her "don't you have anything to say to her, about why you fucked up two years of her life?" Janna shot back, "It wasn't two years!" She started saying something else, but then shut herself up.

It's all on video. Maybe I'll post it here on this blog so everyone else can see it too and judge for themselves. It made me sick.

In any case, all I wanted was proof that my friends were wrong, that Janna was really a good and true friend. I did my own research, I talked to investigators, I got in touch with the real Annie Martel, who, despite whatever doctor/patient privileges there are, asserted that she'd never spoken to me via email, ever, and that she knew nobody called Jesse and nobody called Janna Saint James. So while doctor/patient privileges may indeed be in place when it comes to "Jesse" (although I'll be asking my own therapist about that, you betcha) - I don't think it would stop Annie from telling me if she'd ever contacted me, and it certainly wouldn't have stopped her from confirming knowing Janna, since all they were were bestest friends, all the way back to them good ol' John Denver days.

My point here being, the burden of proof at this point is on Janna, not me. The only proof I've been able to dig up is all stacked up against her. Janna lied about her life, she lied about the people in the photographs, she lied about ever being associated with the Associated Press. And now all I get is hostility from her and associated Jannafestations, telling me that I'm the crazy one. This is it, folks. Enough with that crap.

So let's do this. Since I really truly don't care what "Jesse's" real name is, and since I really couldn't give two shits about getting anything material from him, never did, I've got a proposition. Never mind protestations from people who claim to be real but hey sorry, I just can't fucking believe it. Not 'lest I've seen you and touched you and know certain facts to be actual facts. So cyber-ciphers, let it lay. I shan't respond to you anymore.

My proposition: I will provide an impartial witness: lawyer, law enforcement officer, or better yet, how about the editor who wanted to commission the piece on Janna for that NY paper? Journalists never break their word, right? The witness will take an oath not to divulge "Jesse's" real name to anyone, specially not me, ever. They will sit down with the executor of "Jesse's" estate, or with Annie Martel, who will show them certified documentation proving his existence, proof of their own existence, and aforementioned witness will sign an affidavit swearing they saw documentation proving that "Jesse" existed. Then, I'll apologize, take an ad out in whatever publication Janna and "Jesse's" family choose, and I'll delete all these blogs and apologize every day in that space for the rest of the year.

This'll have the added benefit of cancelling out any newspaper pieces being researched and written, since obviously an editor wouldn't want to print something that was untrue, right?

Can't get fairer than that, can I? If nobody wants to even come forward with this compromise, where I gain nothing but proof of his existence so I can put this to bed once and for all and get on with my life, and "Jesse's" "family" and "friends" gain peace of mind and are shut of me forever.

Till then, please excuse me if I continue to think that Janna St. James is a lying, devious sack of shit, and post my opinions about her and the rest of this fuckedupness as and when I see fucking fit.

And until I get this offer, just shut. the. fuck. up. And kish mir im tuchus.

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