Friday, April 13, 2007

it's not just the feet that are clay...

I was thinking today, while I was driving, which is when I do my best thinking. I decided the reason Janna St. James is so vindictive, and so angry at my friends (and by extension, me) is because she was exposed, sure, but more because they suddenly made this beautiful story she concocted into an ugly one.

I'd use a best-case/worst-case analogy, but I'm hard-pressed to decide which one is best or worst in this case, since they all suck, at least for Janna St. James, and for me too, while I was on a bipolarcoaster with a complex man and subsequently grieving over his death. So let's just lay it out.

On the one hand, we have Jesse Jubilee James, or the guy I thought was called Jesse Jubilee James. Playing let's pretend again (after all, this is the land of fakey, so pretend is always comfortable here), if Jesse was real, he's been exposed as a lying shitheel who told not one ounce of truth to me or anyone else, so the George Washington-esque, noble, yogic, journalist-fireman-cowboy was nothing he claimed to be. And all his friends that talked to me were all in on the huge deception also. A conspiracy that fuckin' rivals the assassination of JFK. It ain't just the feet, this idol is clay from stem to stern. Soooooo, if that's the truth, it logically follows that Janna is a liar too, because she perpetuated the lies of a liar.

On the other hand, we have Janna St. James making all this crap up, which still makes her a lying sack of shit.

Funny how that works.

Either way, she's fer shure a lying sack of shit who watches too many soap operas (and Oprahs), and leads a life that leaves her unfulfilled, hence her fictions about Aspen and her life as a crack journalist/editor for the Associated Press, or wait, maybe not them. There was some smarmy snipe in her blog some time back about how AP wasn't the only news service out there, as though I inferred something that was not implied. But with Janna, obviously everything she and her Jannafestations spew forth are metaphors, just because she says she interviewed Ted Bundy for Associated Press and opened their Aspen office, what she really meant is that she interviewed Ed Gein for Reuters and opened their Fargo office. And when Jesse Jubilee James says his name is Jesse Jubilee James and his sister's name is Alice Aloha Toklas James Jameson Kuippfer, and his brother's name was, presumably, Starshine Saffron James Jameson, really they were Bob, Mae, and Jim Smith. Silly me for taking things at face value.

Still, because I know better, in this case, Occam's Razor is the way to go. There's no big conspiracy. A tiny one, all in Janna St. James's head, and as I've said before, quite badly written, but she didn't really have much time to hone it, not like the nearly-two years she had to string me along with hard-luck story after hard-luck story.

A sad but beautiful story of a starcrossed love was turned into a tawdry pulp fiction, but either way, it was one hunnert percent bullshit.

Fogelberg people? I have some photos I'd like to show you, just in case they ring any bells.

And by the way, Janna, Reuters don't have an Aspen office either.

Janna St. James = lying sack of shit.

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