Thursday, October 11, 2007

uh, hi all you people who are suddenly discovering this blog. I assume you're all somehow here because of the article.

Did all y'all know that Janna St. James was a licensed cosmetologist back in the 80s? I guess that explains the hair.


Annie said...



In 2000-2002 I fell in love with, and lived with, a man.

Warning: stilted language coming up, because I want to protect my identity and that of my child's.

At the time, my child was pre-adolescent. The relationship between my child (with a not-so-great relationship with the child's father) and the man in my story was rich and rewarding to both my child and the man. This man moved into my house and got a job in our area, which involved some travel.

Parts of his story was based in fact (I met his mother, his stepfather, his sisters) but most was not.

The wheels came off one weekend when a woman called and left a message on my answering machine, asking why he'd not shown up for a planned rendezvous.

I called her back and spoke with her at length. It turns out she had been in my house when my child and I were out of town. The man had told her it was his house and that we were married, but were in the process of divorcing.

I sent my child to stay with friends for a week (it was summer time). I packed up all of his belongings and put them in his vehicle. I changed the locks on the house, changed all of my financial accounts, and hired a private investigator.

The time period when he said he was a Navy Seal: in prison the first time. The time period when he said he was working in Alaska: in prison the second time. The alleged common-law wife and two children: never existed.

I did tell my child that I had kicked him out for two-timing me, but I didn't tell my child about the rest of the lies.

In some ways I was very fortunate. I have assets of $X, and he only cost me about 1% of X -- one of his convictions was for credit-card fraud. He also had convictions for domestic battery -- he never hit me or my child.

My child was pretty sad for a while, but got over it. I think my child now remembers mostly the good parts; the hunting and fishing and board games and learning how to build things.

You aren't the only one who has been down this road. Your story is a little weirder, in that the person you fell in love with didn't exist physically....but the guy I fell in love with didn't exist mentally.

Jennifer Emick said...

That's terrible, Annie. Sadly, the fakers are so good at making themselves lovable. My (former) best friend's finace did that to her. She was supporting him in a job in a foreign country, only to find that he was engaged to another woman all the time he was with her. He'd apparently hedged his bets, waiting to hear where he'd be employed.